I Think I Lost My Sense of Direction Somewhere Along the Way
I don’t think I’m tired in the usual way. It’s not just the long shifts, or the early mornings, or the constant back and forth at the hospital. I can handle that. I signed up for that. It’s something else. Something quieter. Something that sits with me even when I’m doing nothing. I wake up before my alarm these days. Not because I’m disciplined, but because my mind doesn’t really rest anymore. I just lie there, staring at the ceiling, listening to the sounds from the kitchen. My aunt is always awake first. There’s something comforting about that. Knowing someone else is already up, already moving, already holding the day together before I even step into it. I don’t say it out loud, but I think I rely on that more than I should. Living here… it’s not just about having a place to stay. It’s about being trusted. About not wanting to be a burden. About quietly proving that I can stand on my own, even when I’m not entirely sure I can. And lately, I’m really not...
